I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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