i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
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