Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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