...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize