I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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