Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
