i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
