she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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