I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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