what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
