We won't sleep together?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
