Someone shit on the floor
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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