just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
