I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
