and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
