i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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