i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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