i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize