So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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