Well apparently he's into motor boating.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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