If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
