so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
