We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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