well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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