Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
