yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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