who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
