i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.