Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him

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(973): View more from New Jersey

well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown

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(631): View more from New York

I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(317): View more from Indiana

She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.

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(772): View more from Florida

Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.

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