Texts From Last Night

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  (830): View more from Texas

  I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.

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  (830): I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk. http://tfl.nu/s9wt
  Replies (33) Good night (948) Bad night (485)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!

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  (432): TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!! http://tfl.nu/zkcs
  Replies (47) Good night (5530) Bad night (903)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there

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  (305): If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there http://tfl.nu/dyet
  Replies (14) Good night (5630) Bad night (601)
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  (714): View more from California

  his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time

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  (714): his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time http://tfl.nu/seuc
  Replies (21) Good night (4093) Bad night (637)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?

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  (480): Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people? http://tfl.nu/e8xq
  Replies (65) Good night (935) Bad night (8591)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.

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  (813): Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard. http://tfl.nu/8xvq
  Replies (22) Good night (4115) Bad night (611)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."

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  (504): And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone." http://tfl.nu/d5h9
  Replies (15) Good night (2710) Bad night (1108)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.

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  (443): the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this. http://tfl.nu/g4cn
  Replies (8) Good night (4780) Bad night (1936)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!

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  (502): Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it! http://tfl.nu/c7ri
  Replies (7) Good night (3342) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything

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  (781): Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe (617): Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything http://tfl.nu/wlv3
  Replies (12) Good night (2063) Bad night (659)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.

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  (507): I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins. http://tfl.nu/raw5
  Replies (7) Good night (772) Bad night (1051)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls

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  (832): Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls http://tfl.nu/30m5
  Replies (11) Good night (1103) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.

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  (971): Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica. http://tfl.nu/ptav
  Replies (3) Good night (1067) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...

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  (970): he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands... http://tfl.nu/z4i5
  Replies (2) Good night (289) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere

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  (717): Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere http://tfl.nu/ab4x
  Replies (0) Good night (603) Bad night (289)

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