Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

y did u give ur computer a hand job?

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(540): View more from Virginia

is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?

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(954): View more from Florida

He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"

(954): View more from Florida

Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(516): View more from New York

you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish

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(714): View more from California

I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.

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(940): View more from Texas

nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that

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(214): View more from Texas

I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out

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