Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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