p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....