Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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