And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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