I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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