my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
