went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
