im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
