No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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