This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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