apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
