My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize