Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize