I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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