just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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