Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
