And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize