okay pat passed out under dana's car
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
