I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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