i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You can't motorboat a personality
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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