so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
