3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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