I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
