I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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