She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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