I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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