if you like me you must not know who I am
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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