I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
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I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
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we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.