OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
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the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
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Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.