I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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