It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
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Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
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On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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