How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
