For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
